While going back to school will be exciting for some students, the transition can be more fraught than anticipated for many. Elevated levels of stress, anxiety, and behavioral issues can show up in students in different ways.
Here are four suggestions to help your kids deal with some of the complex feelings they may be experiencing as a result of returning to school.
Talk about social situations. Has your child’s friend group changed over the summer? Will they be in a new class? Has anyone experienced ghosting or bullying online? Though many kids (especially teenagers) will be reluctant to share their social lives with the adults in their lives, it can never hurt to ask or at least provide support. They may end up sharing valuable information with you.
Remind your kids that everybody has a right to a safe school environment. Bullying is always wrong and we must each do our part in spreading kindness and supporting one other. If your children are worried about being called names or bullied at school, it is important to let them know that they aren’t alone. Encourage them to have an open and honest conversation with you or another trusted adult about who they are communicating with and how. The more you discuss with your kids about bullies, the more at ease they’ll be in coming to you if they witness or experience bullying. Ensure that they are aware of the importance of friendly and encouraging relationships as well as the fact that discriminatory or inappropriate contact can never be acceptable.
Some kids may not express their feelings in words, so you must also be on the lookout for any anxious or aggressive behavior that may suggest something is wrong. It may be an indication that your child is being bullied online if you notice them acting withdrawn, unhappy, or using their device more or less than normal. It is also crucial to become familiar with the safety and bullying policies at your children’s school, as well as the appropriate referral channels and helplines available.
Check-in. Whether you are speaking with them at dinner or while driving in the car, ask about how they are feeling. Encourage open and honest conversations and remind them that it’s okay to ask for help. Sometimes, a child who seems happy and at ease at home behaves differently away from home. Find out from your child’s teachers how they are doing in class and if any more help is required. It’s crucial to recognise these difficulties so you can provide support and arrange for the right kind of assistance. By talking openly with him about what worries him and reassuring him that feeling nervous is normal, you can help him relax.
Here are some conversation starters for the return to school:
Re-evaluate their meds. The fear or overwhelm your child is experiencing may be expressed to you by them. Or you may notice things like recurring headaches, sleeping issues, irritability, or emotional outbursts. Your child might seem withdrawn, unduly worn out, or restless. Watching out for indications of anxiety can help you to offer support early before the situation gets worse.
If your kid takes psychiatric meds like stimulants for ADHD or SSRIs for depression/anxiety, this would be a good time to get in touch with their prescribing clinician to examine the prescription schedule. As children grow, they often require different doses of medications. If your kid takes a summer holiday from their ADHD medications, make a plan for resuming the meds when school begins. I advise making an appointment to evaluate the full medications list and decide whether any can be gradually reduced or stopped, or whether additional ones may be required. It might often be a good idea to make changes in the weeks preceding the start of the classes so that you can monitor any side effects before homework and other school-related stressors start to cloud things.
Contact and coordinate with school staff. Does your kid work with the school counselor, or does s/he need to begin working with them? Is there an IEP or 504 plan that should be reviewed? Do you have to give new teachers any heads-ups about your child’s behavioral patterns or emotional/cognitive needs? I advise getting in touch with and at least introducing yourself/your child to their future teachers, who will play significant roles in your kid’s life over the next year. Kids should be engaged in creative activities like playing and sketching which will allow them to find positive ways to share difficult feelings like anger, fear, or sadness that they may be having in a safe and supportive atmosphere.
Kids can feel anxious about starting school again for different reasons. It’s critical to give them space for them to voice their issues, and also to encourage them to keep in mind the aspects of school that they enjoy and anticipate the most. Check-in frequently with your kid, as their sentiments will likely change on a daily or weekly basis.
Reminding your children of the positives of returning to school, like seeing their friends, might be helpful. Perhaps create a list together about what they are most excited about.
For more on how to support your children’s mental health, click here to get a copy of our best-selling book “The Art of Parenting Children With Mental Health Challenges”.
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